Each life that touches ours for good...

Each time I hear that song I cry, I cant even sing the first few words without tearing up and crying. My sister was talking today and was telling me and my mom about a family that just had a daughter commit suicide. I immediately shut down. anytime this subject gets brought up, I feel myself shut down. I listen but I make my self stop feeling anything. Its a subject thats too close to my heart. I cant even explain how I feel for this family that is going through this. Its not something that I wish upon anyone. And for that girls friends, been there, by far one of the worst experiences in my life. Not a week goes by that I dont think of her. I know she is in a better place but it still doesnt close that aching feeling in my heart. Its not as heart shattering as it first was but there is still that void, a piece that is missing. A couple months after she died, I had a dream about her. She was happy, I hadnt seen her truly happy in quite awhile. She was smiling her unique smile and she was asking how her family was. She told me not to worry and she just kept smiling. Only Heavenly Father knew how much I needed that, How much that would help me heal. I still feel the ache but its softened by the knowledge the gospel brings into my life. I miss her and the goofy times we had together. The summer where we used to go and help her mom at the elementary. we were so young, yet she had seen and experienced more then anyone her age should have to. She confided in me and I in turn tried to help carry her burden, even if it was a small portion. I was there for her to talk to and am lucky and blessed that she did but afterwards I didnt feel like it was enough. maybe if I had called her more or talked to her more or called her the day before like she asked me too, the situation would have changed. I know in my heart that it wouldnt, but im only human. Its been three years, yet it feels like it was just yesterday. She was one of my best friends, she was what I needed in my life at that time. She was that shooting star that so many wish to see and only few do, and are lucky that they do. Only in my life for a short time in our perspective, but long enough to do good. Im eternally greatful for the time I had with her and have so many memories to look back on and smile. always a memory of her living and breathing, smiling. Halloween, summers, ready aim fire, chicken little, girls camp, boys, polos, dancing, the list goes on. I love you!

1. Each life that touches ours for good
Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above
Thru words and deeds of those who love.

2. What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

3. When such a friend from us departs,
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory,
Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

4. For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior’s name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.

Raidens 1st Birthday

So this last saturday we had Raidens 1st birthday party! I cant believe he is 1!!! Everyone met at Murray park and enjoyed a nice lunch and birthday present opening. it was a combined birthday with his cousin Graham. Both lil boys seemed to enjoy their presents and all the attention. When it was time for them to dig into their cake, Raiden didnt want his cake he wanted to share Grahams cake! He is a funny kid, all he wanted to do was play with his little Tonka toy. He is growing up so fast, its like where has the time gone! oh and my sister made me the photographer for her camera.. it was a joy.. just kidding it was ok! ha ha here are a couple of pics..

Fathers..

so since it was fathers day awhile ago and my daddys birthday, I thought he should have his own special post. I love my pops a lot. He has done a lot for not just me but everyone. he trys to act tough or intimidating but he is just a soft cuddly teddy bear! ;] He is a funny one with his oh so awesome jokes.. and stories. When I first started working he worked his schedule around mine so I would have a way to work, even though it was sometimes a pain, he did it anyways. I told him awhile ago that I dont remember him much when I was little but thats not entirely true. He used to take me and kevin to elementary. he made sure we were dressed and ready to go.. even if we werent looking to fashionable.. ha ha. he used to always have something to snack on after school.. from breadsticks to his infamous biscuits. ha ha Those countless summer trips when we would just drive to what I thought were random places but they werent. That one time we drove to Idaho and got Burger King and drove back home.. Im glad to have a wonderful daddy and he makes one heck of a grandpa too. He stepped into that role with ease! Raiden and Hannah are lucky! Most of all I just want to say how much I love this old man.. ok he isnt that old I just like giving him a hard time! much love daddy!

Update..

Ok wow I havent been on here in FOREVER!!! well to update on my June... It started off with the whole family coming and Kevin Graduating!!! I was super super excited to see everyone but to also see kevin graduate. its crazy to think he is graduated. I love when we get to spend time with the whole familia! Then both Raiden and Hannah were blessed. What a wonderful thing. i am so glad that all the men in my family hold the priesthood and use it. It was such a special day having both of them blessed and to have family all around. the whole weekend was family oriented and I LOVED IT!!! My Aunt Debbie had the privilege of getting her endownments out while she was here too. such a special occasion. I didnt get to go to the temple with them but I know what a blessing that was. While they did that me, grandma, and kevin watched baby hannah. i love when I get to spend time with my grandma she is an amazing person! it was sad to see everyone leave but I know that we will see them again. oh and also we celebrated dads birthday.. he is an old man now! ha ha. I dont really remember what else happened that month but I know it was a good one!

Life so far..

So a few things have happened since the last time I posted. but first off I neglected to have a post on my Niece being born! She was born on April 26th and her name is Hannah Abigal! she is of course a cute little thing and is an amazing addition to the family. As much as I love her, I feel bad she was born into this crazy family! ha ha just kidding she wont be sorry she chose us! I have the opportunity to babysit Raiden a day during the week most weeks since they have moved back and Man that Lil dude is growing up so fast! I swear everytime I see him he can do something else! and boy does he have quite a few "toofers"! I love every minute I get to spend with him! Seeing these two lil ones makes it hard not to believe that there is a caring heavenly father watching over us. He loves us and wants us to be happy- and how could you not be happy with having the two lil ones around!! amongst all of this fun family stuff I got to see Ja-may!! I havent seen her in a very very long time!! Its amazing to me that you can go months without seeing someone but once you do you can pick up where you left off and not alot has changed! She is an amazing person and such and example to me! I got lucky in my best friend choice thats for sure!! I know I jump around alot in this one but I have alot on my mind. Its crazy to think that in about a week Kevin will be graduating! Im so excited for him and I just hope that he takes time to enjoy the last bit of his high school experience and soak it all in cause boy does reality hit you afterwards! I know he is destined to great things and will go far in whatever he sets his mind too! Plus since he is graduating I get to see my family! It feels like its been forever since I have seen my Aunts and grandma! I miss having them around but its fun while it lasts! Im glad I have the family I do because I wouldnt want it anyother way! anywho I think I will stop here. I have had this stuck in my head so I thought I would share.. "And when the night is cloudy, There is still a light that shines on me, shine on until tomorrow, let it be" Let it Be by The Beatles.

Momma

Ok so I haven't written in awhile so what a better time to do so then on Mother's Day! I have the best mom in the world! How can I not when she puts up with me! ha ha Seriously though she is an amazing person! she has taught me alot and helped me through alot! She is a wonderful example to me and helps me put things in perspective. Sometimes I think she puts herself down and thinks she has somewhat failed in some aspects but I dont think so! She has done her best and then some! and come on how could you not love her! =] She is the perfect mom for me and I wouldnt want anyone else! So momma I love you lots! You are an amazing person and mother. I am blessed to have you as my mom and am eternally grateful for you! But not only do I have an awesome mom, I also have other amazing women in my life. I have my Nana and grandma, the ones who raised my parents. It wasn't easy for them but looked how their kids turned out, to be really good parents. So to you Nana and grandma- I love you more and more and thank you for being wonderful mothers and examples so that the future generation could pass it on! To all the mothers out there- way to be!

Come What May and Love It!

I have not written in awhile so I guess it is time too! The Olympics were on a couple weeks ago and it was really exciting to watch! I am so proud of all the American athletes, they did an awesome job!! and it did help that a good portion of the male athletes are pretty darn cute! ha ha they all have a lot of potential and can be such huge role models to kids going into their sports or just any sport, I just hope they use that for the better! This last Saturday I went to my first Jazz game and it was so much fun! it is a lot different being there then if you were to watch it on tv. Just the whole vibe of the place is awesome!! It was a good experience for sure! and this Sunday I went and got my recommend renewed thank goodness it feels so good to have it!! and I also talked to the bishop about getting my mission papers started!! im am so so excited!! He asked me what was pulling me towards that and it is so hard to explain. the only way I can explain it is that it just feels right. You know that feeling when you just know thats what you are suppose to do and it just feels right. I have been thinking about it for awhile and my thoughts just keep going back to it and it just brings an amazing feeling and it feels so right! so I get to start the process and turn it all in come August!! its so crazy to think that next year I can be gone and being an instrument in the Lords hand! crazyness! anyway Im just really excited and im trying to change my attitude for the better and take the bad with the good! come what may and love it!