Cali.. Love it!

So this past weekend we were able to go to CALI!! well San Diego and Anaheim to be exact. Thursday we left around 2.. it was a little late but we made our way to Vegas! I honestly dont know what people see in Vegas.. its disgusting and dirty and stinky like no other. I find it to be a gross city. but it was nice to walk around with Kev, Ricky, Heidi, and Baby Raiden. There were creepy guys dressed up in these costumes and this one guy who was fat and had on girls lingerie on, GROSS!! but he was kinda funny! We ended up stayin in the Excalibur and it was pretty nice. The next day we had a 6 o clock wake up call which was Raiden but we ended up not leaving till a little later and traveling to SAN DIEGO!! We got there and checked into the hotel and waited for my aunt Carolyn. It was a long car ride to get there and traffic in Cali is CrAzY!! I wouldnt want to drive there! anyway when she came we went and saw my Nana a lil bit and that was nice. I havent seen her in forever and man is she one tiny little thing. It was a little scary hugging her cause I didnt want to break her!! After that we went to dinner and over to Target which had two stories so you put your cart on this cool thing that takes it up and down the stairs it was pretty neat! Then the next day we went to Sea World while momma hung out with Nana and Carolyn. I loved Sea World! its just my kinda thing. except it made me sad that the animals were so close to the ocean and they were stuck in tanks instead. anyway I got sunburned and have way weird lines but it was well worth it. it renewed and energized my desire to work with animals and why i want to and what got me loving it in the first place but not only that but the importance of conservation and all that. Plus it made me realize how much I really would love to do something with marine biology and want to be close with being able to handle the more exotic type animals. I still want to be a vet tech but I think I want to do a little bit more. and being so close to the ocean was awesome even tho we didnt get to go to the beach.. it was calling my name! ha ha After an awesome day at Sea World we went and said goodbye to nana and carolyn and headed off to the happiest place on earth. We got there later then expected but went to downtown disney and got a couple things. Then the next day we got to go to Disney land and California Adventures which was really fun. It was really cool to see Raiden enjoy it and Hannah as well. I got to do all the things I wanted and even when everyone ditched out on us later that night, my mom and dad were troopers and stayed out late with me to watch world of color, ride Indiana Jones, and do a lil more shopping. It was kinda a rushed weekend but I loved it. I would want a little bit more time to do things but it was nice to get away. Plus it was nice to see the little ones and how they reacted to things and just enjoy all the sights and sounds. Im glad I went but am sad it ended!

life lesson learned.

Just because I have an opinion on something doesnt mean I need to share it. There is a time and place for everything. There has been so much contention and opinion sharing going on this last little while. A large part due to me. its caused nothing but stress and bitter feelings towards others. Just because I dont like something someone is doing or what choices they are making in their lives doesnt mean I have to share it. I now see how the adversary can take hold of a situation. I know they really understand my weaknesses and know the holes in my armor and how to use it against me. With all these feelings inside of me, I turned away from the one true comfort I knew of- Heavenly Father and prayer. its not really funny but is because I stopped praying because I was ashamed of how I was feeling and how it got a hold of me but I wouldnt admit that to myself until now. I just didnt feel like he wanted to hear from me and all my bitterness. I didnt want to say sorry or feel sorry because I was right and thats that. It was slowly rotting my insides and after tonight I can see what damage has been done. I see my flaws and my wrong doings and now have to make them right. I cant take back my action but I can try to make things better, to make them right. Heavenly Father has been there for me through my toughest times and loneliest times and I owe it to him to do what I can to make things better. If only I could be more like him, slowly but surely I can get there. I have to work to fix the kinks in my armor and not let the adversary get a hold of me. Im not perfect and I know I will screw up again but thats why we are here to learn from our mistakes and to improve ourselves. I also have my sister to thank. when im not making her mad or whatever she is there for me to unload everything on and takes it like a champ. I dont know what I would do without her, I would probably explode with all the emotion that I had to keep in. I was lucky enough and blessed to have her as my sister and am eternally grateful for it. Its funny the way things work out. sometimes we go about things the wrong way and it makes for a hard situation but I know I learn a great deal from it, and I always seem to take the hard way but I guess I have a lot more to learn.

oh life!

So yesterday i had a fun night! I got to spend one last time with jamie before she left for SUU. its sad cause im gonna miss her but I am so so excited for her to start her new adventure. I love her to death and am so excited to see her whenever she comes up next! yay for best friends! i also got to spend a little bit of time with my sista which was nice just to hang out. I love my sista! but tonight im irritated. nuff said. It was a good day but of course it couldnt last forever. such is life!

My momma...

If only I had half the compassion and understanding as my mother does, the world would be a better place by far....

blah

I HATE the feeling of not knowing whats going to happen. worst feeling in the world. It stresses me out, makes my head go all fuzzy, and all I want to do is cry. Who knows maybe it will be a good ending, and maybe not. I just dont want to do this waiting game anymore.