Each life that touches ours for good...

Each time I hear that song I cry, I cant even sing the first few words without tearing up and crying. My sister was talking today and was telling me and my mom about a family that just had a daughter commit suicide. I immediately shut down. anytime this subject gets brought up, I feel myself shut down. I listen but I make my self stop feeling anything. Its a subject thats too close to my heart. I cant even explain how I feel for this family that is going through this. Its not something that I wish upon anyone. And for that girls friends, been there, by far one of the worst experiences in my life. Not a week goes by that I dont think of her. I know she is in a better place but it still doesnt close that aching feeling in my heart. Its not as heart shattering as it first was but there is still that void, a piece that is missing. A couple months after she died, I had a dream about her. She was happy, I hadnt seen her truly happy in quite awhile. She was smiling her unique smile and she was asking how her family was. She told me not to worry and she just kept smiling. Only Heavenly Father knew how much I needed that, How much that would help me heal. I still feel the ache but its softened by the knowledge the gospel brings into my life. I miss her and the goofy times we had together. The summer where we used to go and help her mom at the elementary. we were so young, yet she had seen and experienced more then anyone her age should have to. She confided in me and I in turn tried to help carry her burden, even if it was a small portion. I was there for her to talk to and am lucky and blessed that she did but afterwards I didnt feel like it was enough. maybe if I had called her more or talked to her more or called her the day before like she asked me too, the situation would have changed. I know in my heart that it wouldnt, but im only human. Its been three years, yet it feels like it was just yesterday. She was one of my best friends, she was what I needed in my life at that time. She was that shooting star that so many wish to see and only few do, and are lucky that they do. Only in my life for a short time in our perspective, but long enough to do good. Im eternally greatful for the time I had with her and have so many memories to look back on and smile. always a memory of her living and breathing, smiling. Halloween, summers, ready aim fire, chicken little, girls camp, boys, polos, dancing, the list goes on. I love you!

1. Each life that touches ours for good
Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above
Thru words and deeds of those who love.

2. What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

3. When such a friend from us departs,
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory,
Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

4. For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior’s name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.